Naked Lunch

Even the landscape in the spa town of Schwarzenberg is a Teutonic tonic.

Deep within the northern Black Forest, a fair maiden reclines in a hollowed-out tree log full of warm, pine-scented water. A breakfast of champagne, mango smoothie, muesli and toast is spread out before her on a towel-draped plank. As the steam heat billows all around, a large, bald man with a long, pointy beard bathes her, scrubbing powdered salts over her back, her neck, her arms. The maiden breathes in the fresh German air and sips champagne, reflecting on the fact that while this happens to be one of the most delightfully useless spa treatments she has ever encountered (though local monks did perform a similar ritual here 200 years ago, minus the smoothie), she feels amazing. And that’s exactly the point in Baiersbronn, a land in which food and wellness are intimately linked.

As the fair maiden was about to learn – by the way, you realize I’m the fair maiden, right? – this region is home to spa cuisine at its finest, where foie gras and caviar trump alfalfa sprouts and hemp seed oil. That’s because Baiersbronn (pop. 16,000) is home to seven Michelin stars spread over just three restaurants, all of which also happen to be located in family-owned and operated spa hotels. To put that number in perspective, it’s the highest density of Michelin stars in the world, and the whole of London has just two three-starred restaurants.

Bratwurst, mottled fat, meaty flesh. I wish I was talking about some of the Swabian delights I enjoyed during my lunch at Sattelei Hütte, one of four hut rest stops in the Baiersbronn hiking region, which are really less like huts and more like gorgeous post-and-beam structures. There, kind women in traditional dirndls dish out hearty plates of veal-stuffed ravioli and warm apple cake to hungry hikers who have momentarily swapped walking sticks for beer steins.

But, no. Instead, I’m shvitzing in the water therapy circuit of the Oasis of Wellbeing spa at Hotel Sackmann, a modern space that includes a dry sauna, crystal steam bath, a salt inhalation chamber, an ice fountain and a relaxation room with waterbeds. It all brings to mind the swishest spas in Miami but for the fact that the area is coed – and nude. 

Maitre d’ Ansgar Fischer sets the tables at the three-Michelin-starred Schwarzwaldstube restaurant.

In the Black Forest, this has become my new normal. Even the masseuses and estheticians do not coo softly and leave the treatment rooms so that I may disrobe in peace prior to my vinotherapy wrap or Ayurveda Garshan massage. Instead, they stand there with outstretched arms, waiting to receive my bikini or bra. It takes several days before I finally hit upon what gives these luxurious spas their sense of place: It’s the extreme nudity.

Spa goers get dressed up (or is that down?) for a traditional treatment; waitresses at the Sattelei Hütte, where hikers can refuel on their route; the other Black Forest cake: A slice of apple poppy from the hut.

And while dining in the buff is strictly frowned upon at the Michelin-starred Schlossberg restaurant in the Hotel Sackmann, the restaurant still mirrors the spa – and not just through the abstract photos of dried orange slices and red peppercorns lining the Oasis of Wellbeing’s blond wood walls. “My influence is aromas,” explains chef de cuisine and owner Jörg Sackmann, a German cooking show celebrity with a moustache and a mullet. “Like the spa, you have fire, water and air. Sweet and salty; sweet and sour. Different textures. I have fun with food.” To that end, it must be noted that the single best bite I ate all week was chef Sackmann’s amuse of panko-fried slow-poached egg yolk with a Parmesan tuile and Périgord truffle emulsion – a veritable Agatha Christie whodunit on a china plate.

The next day, when I meet up with my local friend Patrick Schreib for a sunny three-star Michelin lunch, I ask why he didn’t warn me about the coed nudity in the Baiersbronn spas. After a thoughtful shrug, he asks, “How do you do it in Canada?”

German celebrity chef Jörg Sackmann in the kitchen at Schlossberg restaurant.

How do we do it in Canada? Well, artfully draped towels for one. Tightly cinched spa robes for another. But perhaps these rosy-fleshed Germans were right in letting it all hang out. And maybe these resort hotels, which have long practised the art of wellness in a town based on a culture of well-being – European aristocrats came to the Black Forest region for fresh air and mineral pools as early as the 18th century – recognize something that we don’t: indulgence, not restraint, may be the truest path to well-being.

“You know, Patrick,” I say as three separate men pull out my seat, arrange my purse stool, place a linen napkin on my lap and present me with a menu like a troupe of Balanchine dancers, “I think you may be on to something here.” Patrick merely shrugs again and begins to peruse the menu at Schwarzwaldstube, the jewel in the crown of the history-drenched eighth-generation hotel Traube Tonbach.

“The most important thing during this lunch is that the waiters have a good time,” says Ansgar Fischer, part maître d’, part clown (minus the red squishy nose). This cheeky welcome sets the tone for a marathon five-hour meal at Schwarzwaldstube beneath an incredibly ornate wooden ceiling. (It’s all very Murg Valley baroque.) The brightness of the room complements the mood. A Balanchine server insists the stuffed red mullet with ratatouille – the very essence of the Côte d’Azur – “is crying out for bread to sop up the tomato mussel sauce!” Such is this culture of hospitality. Be it the seared foie gras topped with crumbed macadamia nuts and spooned with a coconut kaffir lime sauce (heartbreakingly delicious) or the head-turning tuna tartare garnished with cucumber jelly, shiso cress and young radish, which echoes my herbal compress massage from the previous day, I always knew that spa food could be good. I just never knew it could be this good.

A Black Forest farmer takes a licking from his cows; the stuffed red mullet at Schwarzwaldstube restaurant.

Routinely voted the best chef in Germany, Harald Wohlfahrt, a trim man with a broad smile, approaches our table. I start to giggle because after eating his food, I have a bit of a crush on him, and after seven impeccable wine pairings, I’m also drunk. I ask the chef whether the fun, relaxed atmosphere at his restaurant is a conscious decision, and he confirms my hunch. “We are not a cathedral. People want to come together, communicate and have good food and wine.” And in Baiersbronn, many people do just that.

“The number-one thing about this area is the food,” explains chef Wohlfahrt. “The food is wellness for your tongue. But afterwards,” he adds, “I suggest a Thai massage.” ®

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The elaborate dining room looks out onto the countryside.

The aristocrats who came to the Black Forest for fresh air as early as the 18th century recognized something we don’t: Indulgence, not restraint, may be the truest path to wellbeing.

Baiersbronn, Germany
Travel Essentials

01 At Restaurant Bareiss – Michelin three-star since 2007 – executive chef Claus-Peter Lumpp turns out a parade of welcome bites, including caviar, crispy crab and silky scallop ceviche.

02 Baiersbronn has four hiking huts serving regional classics, from the famous ham to local schnapps.

03 The spa at the Schwarzwaldhotel Tanne has a quirky woodsy theme complete with tree-house relaxation sauna and outhouse-chic bathrooms.

04 The Relais & Châteaux Bareiss hotel is a third-generation property that boasts the centuries-old Morlokhof farmhouse, a living museum around which grow herbs for chef Lumpp’s dining room and the spa’s herbal stem massages.

05 Don’t leave the region without eating a piece of Black Forest cake. You'll find the best slice at Hotel Engel Obertal, also home to the spectacular Wolke 7 wellness facility.

Flight Planner

Baiersbronn Via Frankfurt
Air Canada in conjunction with Star AllianceTM member Lufthansa, offers the most daily non-stop flights to Frankfurt from Canada, with service from several Canadian cities. From there, Baiersbronn is a scenic drive or train ride away.