Snow Kidding

With a family-friendly mountain, a new activity centre and the bestest ski teachers ever, Aspen finally finds its inner child.

By Neal McLennan

Photos:  (from left to right, clockwise) Biege Jones, Daniel Bayer, Hal Williams, Daniel Bayer, courtesy of aspensnowmass.com

Aspen is breathtaking. Literally. I’ve brought my daughters, Greer, nine, and Lola, five, to the glitziest of locales to tackle that most pedestrian of parental duties – lining up ski lessons – and the mere task of toting their skis to the hill has my sea-level lungs begging for oxygen. I’m trying to be Superdad, but at an altitude of 2,400 metres, I feel like Christopher Hitchens running a marathon.

Teaching kids to ski in Aspen is akin to training them to use utensils at the French Laundry in Napa Valley. But the Ski Company – as locals call the Aspen corporation that owns the ski hills – has become a paragon of the industry, creating a kind of Christmas-morning-meets-Disneyland experience. Like the Beatles, each of the resort’s four mountains has a role: Aspen Mountain is the classic steep terrain, Aspen Highlands is the new extreme locale, and Snowmass, where we’re skiing, is the family choice. (Buttermilk is like Ringo – grateful just to be included.)

We start the trip with a visit to the new $17-million Treehouse Kids’ Adventure Center, a Wonkaesque world of climbing walls, themed rooms and singalongs. Any parent knows that key moment when you drop the kids off somewhere new. After uttering the famous line “I’ll see you at the end of the day,” there is an outpouring of youthful grief normally reserved for the breakup of a favourite boy band. But when my wife, Amanda, and I head for the door, Greer and Lola look at the climbing wall, glance back at us and simply bid us adieu. If they weren’t wearing ski boots, I think they would have started skipping.

We ski the rest of the day in a state of bemused joy. The snow is epic, the hill empty and, far from being childish, Snowmass’ terrain – which, at 3,000 acres, is larger than the other three resorts combined – has both insane chutes that look like bobsled tracks pitched at 35 degrees and bumps that resemble buried Porsche 911s.

This scene plays itself out again the next day as the kids run over to hug their instructors. Shaking our heads, Amanda and I hop a shuttle to Aspen Highlands, ski for several hours and return to find the kids with the same silly grins on their faces. By the end of day three, magic happens: Not only are the kids skiing, but we’re all cruising down solid green circles together, laughing and racing. It’s like the Huxtables on skis.

At night, we stroll the streets of Aspen, playing “spot the most outrageous shearling-coat-and-furry-boots combo” while regaling each other with tales of heroism from the day’s skiing. Soon both Greer and Lola are attacking the blue squares with abandon and asking why we don’t have a trust fund. Kids, I guess, just acclimatize faster.

ESSENTIAL GEAR

Horchow Cashmere Travel Blanket
A cold-combatting wrap is essential for keeping everyone warm on Aspen Carriage and Sleigh’s Clydesdale-led ride past the Roaring Fork River.

Tylenol
If you don’t need it after visiting the cacophonous Treehouse Kids’ Adventure Center (complete with jungle gym and singalongs), you’ll want it for those mogul-induced aches and pains.

Salomon Skis 
The nimble, lightweight X-Wing Fury (for boys) and the Jade (for girls) will take junior from the first lesson at snow school to a solo schuss down the slopes.

Nikon Coolpix P6000
This 13.5-megapixel camera is the kind of inconspicuous lens that you can whip out when you’re celeb-watching in downtown Aspen. (Jack Nicholson and Michael Douglas have both spent time here.) Or tuck it into your ski jacket for shots of the kids making it beyond the bunny hill.